Five Great Musicals (By Request)

My friend Lauren asked me for five favorite musicals as she attempts to beef up her musical theatre repertoire for auditions, a task which those who know me well will know suits me comfortably. As I tend to do, I definitely went a bit overboard with it, but I thought I'd share what I came up with for her on here in case anyone else wants a gander.

5. Rent: Rent revolutionized Broadway with then edgy themes, rollicking rock-flavored music, a compelling and tragic behind-the-scenes story (the writer, Jonathan Larson, died of a freak aneurysm the night before ...its first Off-Broadway preview), and a ton of HEART. I sang a duet from Rent three of my four years in HS for big end-of-year concerts ("I'll Cover You" is a sweet love song between a man and a drag queen; "Take Me or Leave Me" is a raucus breakup song between two lesbians; "What You Own" is a powerful ballad of finding one's purpose after everything). It's a bit dated now but still packs an emotional punch and has some great tunes ("Out Tonight" is as thrilling to see performed live as the Queen of the Night's arias in The Magic Flute, and "Seasons of Love" will always be a glorious, if bittersweet, anthem).

4. Into the Woods: Clever story, insightful characters and, of course, brilliant music by the master himself, Stephen Sondheim. Follows well-known fairy tale characters interacting comedically in Act I and tragically in Act II. I recommend watching the DVD of the original Bway production with Bernadette Peters and Joanna Gleason (Vanessa Williams starred in the revival). "On the Steps of the Palace" is one of the more difficult and impressive female solos around, as is "Moments in the Woods," but "No One is Alone" is definitely the signature ballad.

3. Kiss Me, Kate: An oldie but goodie by Cole Porter (a master of the clever lyrics and jazzy Broadway tunes of the 50s) which was revived splendidly in the early part of this decade (that cast recording is stellar); a take on Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew with a modern twist. Best part, though, is the endless list of great songs: "So in Love," "Too Darn Hot," "Another Op'nin, Another Show," and the second act showstopper "Always True to You (In My Fashion)" (done amazingly on revival cast album by Amy Spanger). I saw it on Broadway and it remains atop my list.

2. Sweeney Todd: Another Sondheim masterpiece, only this one is a gory melodramatic opera about a homicidal, throat-slitting barber out for revenge. The music is incredible, and the lead roles of Sweeney Todd and the sinister Mrs. Lovett are gifts to seasoned veterans (Angela Lansbury was the original; Patti LuPone did a revival). I recommend the DVD of the San Francisco Symphony Concert production from a few years ago with George Hearn, Patti LuPone, and Neil Patrick Harris. Incredible.

1. Avenue Q: This is perhaps the closest any musical has ever come to perfection. On the surface it's an irreverent spoof on Sesame Street, where puppets and humans coexist and deal with being 22 with a useless college degree, no money, and seeming lack of purpose. But it's really a sweet love story and a touching, HILARIOUS, and most of all completely true and relateable fable about growing up. "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist," "The Internet is for Porn," and "If You Were Gay" will have you rolling in the aisles, while "There's a Fine, Fine Line," "Purpose," and "I Wish I Could Go Back to College" will tug your heartstrings (and impress any casting director). Beat out Wicked for the Best Musical Tony and deserves every bit of it; recently closed on Bway only to reopen immediately Off-Broadway, and with any luck it will run until the end of time. It's truly incredible. I will fly to New York with you to see it again, and I've seen it twice already.

Update (and Conclusion?) on the Great Gaga Saga

Earlier this morning I posted an SOS of deceptive desperation in an attempt to decipher a particularly gnarly lyrical quandary at the hands of the fabulous and frighteningly phenomenal Lady Gaga (for reasons I can only promise will prove themselves in the near future). I'd foolishly hoped for a swift and solid resolution, but instead found the road to truth even thornier than I'd anticipated. I also learned a little and laughed a lot along the way, and most importantly, I am 99.9% satisfied that I have finally uncovered the answer to my shticky little question.

Since most of the good stuff took place via Facebook, however, I wanted to document some of the madness highlights here for posterity.

First, Alecia (the friend I wrote about earlier who originally alerted me to the existence of this discrepancy) helpfully provided this: "So go to the second interview on this link at around 2:30 she talks about the song. (Link to Interviews) I knew I heard it somewhere!! And it sounds like schtick to me still :)"

And indeed it did; however, Gaga's explanation did not make entirely clear why exactly the lyric might be one or the other, instead educating the ignorant masses about Hitchcock (and, unexpectedly, clearing up the other lyric in the song I hadn't gotten and in doing so redeeming herself from my idnignant response to her assumed omission of my favorite Hitchcock film, Rear Window...more on this in a moment).

Then one of my music industry connections (the fabulous country sensation-in-waiting Brittany McDonald, whose absence from your music library should be rectified immediately) pointed out the inarguable habit of lyrical non-clarity the Gaga has possessed since "Poker Face/Puckerface/Fuck Her Face."

Alecia's stance was all but verified by a helpful response I received from a user on YouTube, who explained, "It's 'schtick' according to the CD book, but it's meant to be a play on words, since the next lyric 'want you in my rear window, baby you're sick' is alluding to anal sex." While I imagine I would have gleaned the salacious hidden meaning of the newly discovered lyrics without much prodding, but the confirmation of an official publication of the lyrics as being extant was, really, exactly what I had said earlier that I would require as proof.

After "shtick" (alternately spelled "schtick" by more than one respondant) received endorsements from a few more of my particularly pop-aware friends, Chris sealed the deal with what reasonably purports to be as close to a facsimile of the supposed "CD book" as I'm likely to encounter without schlepping to Best Buy to buy the damn thing with the money I don't have for the CD player I don't possess. In this case the spelling "shtick" was used, and for my secret purposes I decided I preferred it as such.

The residual exchanges (the main quest being complete) amounted essentially to a jocular namedropping parade of other notable marble-mouths of the airwaves (Mick Jagger, Bob Dylan, and Britney Spears appeared in various contexts). And really, I have to defend my confusion once more here: say what you like about Gaga, but you can't deny that she didn't help in this search for lyrical absolution with her delivery - as artistically intriguing as her unique enunciation was likely meant to be (and, indeed, is).

Long story short: in the second verse of "Bad Romance," Lady Gaga sings the following:

I want your Psycho,
Your Vertigo shtick;
Want you in my Rear Window.
Baby, you're sick.
I want your love.
Love, love, love,
I want your love.

In the simplest vernacular, this seems to mean something like "I enjoy how fucked up you are and would also like to receive anal sex from you if that's possible." Or, classic Gaga.

Believe It or Not, This Is REALLY Important

OK I am at my wits' end...does anyone know if the official lyrics to Lady Gaga's single "Bad Romance" (from The Fame Monster re-release) are published anywhere? Like in liner notes or something similarly official-esque and ostensibly from the horse's mouth or close to it, not MetroLyrics or other user-compiled information (often rife with mondegreens)?

Barring that, if anyone knows anyone who knows anyone who knows someone who knows one of the writers? Hey, this is L.A.; I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if I happened to know someone who knows someone (etc.) like that. If so, I need your help to solve a seemingly frivolous but in fact deceptively consequential like you wouldn't believe. (If I ever figure out the answer, you'll soon see why...but at this point I'm not holding my breath!)

I cannot get a definitive answer to this question:

The second verse of "Bad Romance" begins thusly:

I want your horror,
I want your design,
'Cause you're a criminal
As long as you're mine.
I want your love.
Love, love, love,
I want your love.

Following the most fantastic grunt, she continues: "I want your Psycho/ Your Vertigo _______"

And here's where my advanced degrees in history and early modern literature and all the practice I've had doing research for minuscule details have to this point failed me. Does Gaga want "your Vertigo STICK" or "your Vertigo SCHTICK?" Clearly this obscure couplet is in reference to perhaps the two most famous films of Alfred Hitchcock, and wanting one's "psycho," capitalized or not, at the very least fits into the gist of the rest of the song's lyrics. Now, my first instinct was "stick," despite that word pairing making little sense; perhaps my instinct was based on the prominence of the word "stick" in a previous single, "LoveGame" (in that case as half of a rather catchy euphemism for a somewhat salacious part of the male anatomy).

The friend who originally made apparent a discrepancy in our respective hearings of that lyric just happens to possess the musical taste and Gaga-specific appreciation and experience to suggest to me the possibility of the oh-so-rare occurrence in which I'm wrong and someone else is right; plus *SPOILER ALERT* the film Vertigo centers around an especially thorough, sinister and ultimately fatal deception...and in a relatively avant-garde mainstream pop song it's conceivable that the word "schtick" might arguably serve such a reference.*

I've heard compelling cases for both and I'm simply baffled. (Full disclosure: for reasons entirely unrelated to "Bad Romance," lyrical continuity or the preservation of English grammar, I'm hoping that "stick" turns out to be correct. Not enough, however, to proclaim it is so when there is some chance it might not be.

HELP ME LADY GAGA-KENOBI! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!

(In case you wonder why I exclude MetroLyrics, an example: the site currently seems under the impression the lyric in question is "I want your psycho/Your vertical stick..." Seriously? As my mother always says, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.")

For reference, in case anyone hasn't yet experienced the mindblowing fabulousness, here's the video.




*If you have not seen Vertigo, what on earth is the matter with you? Rectify this immediately. Buy it used from Amazon. Put it in your Netflix queue. Here's a link. No, I mean do it NOW. It could not be simpler.

Did you do it?